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Sam Trenholme’s blog

Another Marshall memory

September 5, 2026

I learned sexual morality from Marshall. This is a continuation of my series on Marshall, who I discuss in two previous blog entries.

Sexual values

Marshall and I had conversations about sex and relationships. I was still young and a virgin, so there was a lot I still didn’t know about relationships and sex. While sitting with Marshall in his office, we had a conversation about sex that started like this:

I said, “What sexual values should someone have, Marshall?”

Marshall said, “Sam, I will tell you the truth. I haven’t been perfect about my sexuality. I have made a lot of mistakes and have done things I regret doing.”

I said, “Why do you regret having sex? Sex feels good.”

Marshall said, “Yes, you’re right, Sam. Sex does feel good—while you’re getting a piece of ass and having sex with the girl. It’s what you feel afterwards that sucks.

See, when you have sex with someone who don’t really know and don’t love, only the physical act of sex feels good. After the sex is done, you feel shallow and empty.” I said, “So, Marshall, it isn’t a good idea to have casual sex?”

Marshall said, “No, Sam, it isn’t. The truth is that masturbation is more satisfying that having a meaningless purely physical relationship with a girl. Having sex without having feelings for the girl is not what you want to do.”

I said, “What kind of sexual relationship is the best?”

Marshall said, “Again, Sam, I haven’t met this ideal, but the best sex you have is to get together with someone you truly love, have a monogamous relationship, and only have sex with one person for your entire life. That is the best sex you can have.”

Years later

I took those words to heart. I lost my virginity to my first wife; we had a baby together and I was there next to her bed as she succumbed to cancer. The sex with her was fantastic and never got old; the more I knew her, the better the sex got.